Letter From The Editor + Astrology Report (Throwback Thursday)

Prompts = New, Year, Eve

Story New — Letter From The Editor

Photo by Blaz Erzetic on Unsplash

This is the eve of a new age of discovery.

I don’t mean like Christopher Columbus, who fell off the face of the Earth four times in his supposed search for India. I mean, yes, he landed on the coast of the Americas, so that’s hard to explain.

And then landed back in Spain on the return trip. Four times.

Weird.

Maybe it was group hysteria from vitamin C deficiency.

Anyway, this is the year the community will prove several obvious scientific principles including that the Sun revolves around the Earth.

Sincerely,

Maxwell Doubleknees

Editor-in-Chief, Flat Earth Magazine

Story Old — Astrology Report

Every year, Troy would write an astrology report. While he viewed it as a seriously researched report, most sales were for the comic value. As an example, here’s the report that came out on the eve of 2019:

“With the new year bringing in the Year of the Wombat, it’s important to remember that good things come in old packages. Now’s the time to grasp the future and also to remember the past, which will bring happiness and health. If you walk and chew gum at the same time, expect to step on a crack. Stay away from bubble gum.”

Links to other sites where I publish:

Blogger = https://onehundredwordsbyparz.blogspot.com
Medium = https://medium.com/100-word-or-less-stories
YouTube = https://www.youtube.com/user/parzivalsattva

And a link to where my Lovely Lady Love (who also operates the camera) posts her art: https://www.youtube.com/user/recyclinggoddess

Happy New Year

“Happy Holidays, welcome to Burgerrama, what can I get you?”

“A Triple Ramadama burger. No bun, extra bacon.”

“Certainly. Would you like a double mint smoothie? They’re our new item for the holidays.”

“Is it sweet?”

“Sweet enough to put an elephant into a diabetic coma. But I take it from your horror-stricken face that that isn’t what you’re looking for. May I suggest something from our line of healthy beverages?”

“Nah - water will do.”

“Excellent - that’s our best seller in the healthy beverage category. Anything else?”

“No - that’s it.”

“That’s $24.95 please. Hope to see you next year!”

New, Year, Eve

Every year, Troy would write an astrology report. While he viewed it as a seriously researched report, most sales were for the comic value. As an example, here’s the report that came out on the eve of 2019:

“With the new year bringing in the Year of the Wombat, it’s important to remember that good things come in old packages. Now’s the time to grasp the future and also to remember the past, which will bring happiness and health. If you walk and chew gum at the same time, expect to step on a crack. Stay away from bubble gum.”