Story, Threw, Through

Being a writer is much more than putting words onto a page in such a way that other people want to read them. Oh no! It’s much more involved than that.

For instance, writers need to decide how they want to write. Non-writers may not realize that picking the media to use when writing a story is important, indeed probably vital.

Consider that electronic versions of stories are easier to edit. And if you don’t like it, you can delete the file.

Paper is more satisfying with deletion; I threw my last story through the open window last week!

Fog, Morbid, Oscillate

My mind fills with fog; the cycle continues. While I can form coherent thoughts, I can relate that the potion I brewed six years ago continues to cause me to oscillate between civilized and uncivilized, between rational researcher and irrational beast.

I shall relate my experiences as best as I can in my journal, despite the fact that it’s becoming more difficult to hold such a fine instrument.

My vision begins to sharpen, as if the emerging animal is ready to hunt. Sound becomes more immediate and smells vibrant. I’m feeling fury, hate, anger! Blood shall be mine! Hate! KILL!!! 

Enrich, Fresh, Chide

The text came just after 6:30pm; a member of the government’s cabinet was dining out. A flash mob was being assembled to chide him for enriching himself at the expense of the country. I acknowledged the text - it was a signal that I would be there shortly.

When I arrived at the restaurant, organizers were handing out signs and leading chants. I joined in readily, chanting that he should resign and give that department a fresh start.

While we were protesting, a hoard of police quietly but efficiently surrounded us, and then the arrests began. We’d been set up.

Blubber, Hospitable, Various

The hospital nurses in the birthing ward nickname newborns: this one is Smiley, that one is Blue Eyes, that one over there is Fish Mouth. But in room 602, there’s Blubber. It’s not just because the baby is much fatter than usual, but because he won’t stop crying. The hard part is that poor mom is exhausted and so crying as well.

While the staff tried various means to soothe the baby, none succeeded, to the point where the new mom didn’t feel welcome at all; the ward stopped feeling hospitable.

Baby Blubber grew up to be an Olympic weightlifter.

Calibrate, Decide, Echo

It’s a little known fact that the echo in Yosemite National Park is calibrated to a minor fourth with a one second delay. Park officials meet several times per year to manage the various elements that affect the echo, such as forest and water course management, atmospheric effects, and the like.

The most common question people ask when hearing this fact is “How did the original decision come to be made to have it that way?”, which is an excellent question. History tells us that Teddy Roosevelt decided that it should be that way, but it doesn’t reveal the reason.

Mice, Prune, Uniform

The Mad Hatter and the March Hare were taking tea in a garden. The question, though, is whose garden is it? And the answer is that the garden belonged to a family of mice in service to the Knave of Hearts.

They served the tea and brought out the sandwiches, but more than that, they also kept the grounds, pruned the bushes, and maintained the furniture. They were kept quite busy because the tea party never ended!

In order to keep them neat and clean, the uniforms were changed every so often and washed by a clan of otters. 

Delay, Sorry, Meat

I’d been thinking about it all day. I woke up with it on my mind, drudged my way through work salivating, even managed to drink coffee on my breaks and have the taste throb in my mouth. Everywhere I looked, I saw wisps of steam rising from a plateful of delicious, delectable, tender meat, swimming in a savoury meat sauce. I was going to feast tonight, right after work.

5:01pm and I was out the door. Ten minutes later and I was in front of the restaurant, reading:

“Sorry, there’s been a delay in deliveries. We’re closed until tomorrow.”

Sleep, Drastic, Fortune

Duke Jeremy Bartholomew had five adult children, all gathered for the reading of the will…

Jonathon gets the Fortune of Wealth - he gets the money.

Sarah gets the Fortune of Shelter - she gets the house.

Roger gets the Fortune of Knowledge - he gets my library.

Mary gets the Fortune of Adventure - she gets my menagerie.

And Franklin gets the Fortune of Sleep - he gets my best bed.

No one was happy. Why’d he split things up in such a stupid fashion? All of them made ready to take drastic action against their siblings. Which is what the Duke wanted.

Oblong, Hip, Miraculous

The world of Harry Potter is hidden from our own, but it’s not the only one. Among those other worlds is one that highlights art as a power...

Franklefurth sat in Shapes class, watching as Professor Polyhedron described the method for drawing a freehand oblong circle. Franklefurth thought it’d be miraculous to be able to draw a decent one even with a year’s practice, but of course Millandrea got it on her third attempt. Show off, he thought.

He readied himself for his tenth attempt, the teacher watching with hands on hips.

It was no better than his first attempt.

Unusual, Concrete, Suspend

Sonny Swede and Tommy TwoTeeth had captured the Capo of the rival family trying to control the city. They were all standing on the pier, the Capo in “concrete shoes”. Sonny asked one last time if the Capo would work with his family, and was once again told to fuck off. Sonny shrugged and with one small push, the Capo fell off.

Sonny and Tommy started to walk back to their car when they heard the Capo yelling, mocking them. They stopped and realized there’d been no splash, which was unusual. The Capo was suspended in old fishing net, laughing.

Rain, Sustain, Yelp

The music festival Woodstock in 1969 was the first of its kind in the rock world, having some of the biggest acts play 24 hours per day over the course of several days.

It’s also known as one of the biggest boondoggles ever.

The incessant rain made the ground a muddy mess. The number of people who attended was much higher than anticipated, so facilities, such as port-a-potties and food stalls, were inadequate. It was totally unsustainable. The musicians had to deal with a collapsing stage and poorly grounded electrics, making them yelp whenever they touched their microphones.

Approach, Voracious, Individual

The elephant, named Harvey, had been transported to the sanctuary after it’d been found, starving and abused, in a bankrupt (both financially and morally) zoo.

The Head Keeper was all too aware of the need to establish trust but to also do it with his safety in mind. He had Harvey placed in one enclosure with an adjoining enclosure set up. He made sure to be seen by Harvey as he brought out food. Once it was placed, he exited and Harvey was allowed in, where he ate voraciously.

Months later, a few individuals were able to play with Harvey.

Please, Sculpt, Quote

While not often spoken aloud (except when the adage is broken), it’s said that if you are going to have letter work done as part of a tattoo, you need someone who can spell. Having “No Regets” tattooed in large calligraphic lettering across your chest does not attract compliments.

The same is true for sculpture. When a monument is sculpted and a motto or quote is carved into the base, it’s vital that the spelling be correct. It doesn’t please the public when someone’s “Famus Last Werds” are carved in stone. 

Walk, Counter, Devoid

It’s your first day working at First National Bank and Trust as a teller. The Branch Manager welcomed and the Head Teller got you set up. You couldn’t feel more welcome.

A small group of customers waits outside. The Head Teller makes sure everyone is ready for the day’s business, then welcomes the customers in.

Your first customer walks to the counter, eyes devoid of emotion. He hands you a note, saying “This is a robbery.”

Turn to page _____ if you _____:

17 - Hit the silent alarm.

35 - Laugh.

87 - Ask the Bank Manager indignantly if this is a joke.

Forgive, Vine, Appear

Pradeep and his team had been hired to renovate the old building, an old vine-covered Victorian that had gone to seed. His instructions had been simple - make it look like new. That was it. His team started on the massive project with gusto.

Part of his team started stripping away the vines. The building started to make a strange groaning noise, then collapsed, folding in on itself. Apparently, the vines were holding the building together.

It was at this instant that the owner appeared at the worksite. Pradeep turned, getting ready for the owner to forgive him. 

Gross, Numb, Octave

My ass is numb and my ears aching. No one bothered to tell me that this opera, Vagner’s Twilight of the Gods, is 5 1/2 hours long. I’m trying hard to be polite, especially with this being my third date with someone who is otherwise wonderful, but you have got to be kidding me. Hang on, the soprano is about to hit a painful octave…

I feel sick. If the air conditioning was working a bit better, I wouldn’t feel so gross in this dress. Or maybe I could have sneaked in a snack?

Only 3 hours left. Groan.

Submit, Toady, Hill

“This is the hill you are willing to die on? You’re going to submit yourself to the scorn and outrage of the populace, for what? For ten minutes of TV time? I don’t see the political calculus working for you. So explain it to me - what are you trying to achieve by trying to pass a law that makes vegetables illegal?”

“It’s simple and I’m surprised you can’t see it. The vegetarians and vegans and their sycophants and toadies will react violently, rising up to overthrow the perceived enemy - meat eaters. And I’ll ride that wave and become President.”

“Seriously?”

Bloody, Assume, Declare

“I assume you want this on your tab?”

“Yeah. Sorry.”

“You know this has to end. At some point my boss is going to want your money in the till. And when he does and you don’t…”

“I know. He’ll have me beaten bloody.”

“If you’re lucky it’ll stop there. Look, I don’t want to get involved, but you have to do something. Declare bankruptcy. Leave town. Get a job. Do something!”

“I won’t cut and run. I’ll make some money somehow. I just need some time.”

“You have as much time as you have money!”

“Thanks for your concern.”

Moot, Quest, Under

Indiana Jones was under no illusions - the quest for the Jade Skull was more dangerous than he’d originally thought.

He’d asked a local guide about the Askgeroth tribe encamped at the mouth of the cave where he needed to go. The answer had been that the tribe was a moot issue - they were peaceful.

The reality was that the tribe was composed of ferocious warriors, they were guarding the cave, and the guide was working with them.

Hands over his head, Indie was being led back to the encampment at gunpoint by the guide.

We know he’ll escape, but how?

Excess, Ministration, Outdoors

People who gravitate to the outdoors, and especially those who live in the outback, do not believe in excess. They are minimalists by nature and necessity. Stuff holds less value while the environment holds more value.

The deeper their relations to the earth, the more they come to care for it, nurture it, and where necessary, heal it. Their ministrations come in many forms, labour and advocacy being two examples.

It is far easier to exploit natural resources when people separate themselves from that which is being plundered. That lack of empathy with Gaia will ultimately be humanity’s undoing.

Publish, Excuse, Grow

The world of words has grown to an extent that it’s hard to understand its magnitude. One outlet for writing, medium.com, publishes 10,000 articles per day. How does a new writer break into this cacophony?

This new world of writers is best navigated by young extroverted people. Older introverted people are two strikes down. This is not to say that these are excuses to not publish new works. This is not a reason to expect an audience can’t be grown. But it does make it harder.

The world of writing has moved from simply writing to marketing your writing.

Sole, Mesh, Trite

Still. I must remain still. Any movement will alert my prey to my presence. When I do move, it must be quick, either to catch a meal or to avoid being eaten. It isn’t much but this is my life.

There are no other sole near me. I like to say I’m the sole sole - it’s trite but it keeps me amused while I wait.

I had a near miss a few months ago. A trawler let out a drag net; my friends and family all got caught in the nylon mesh. I survived.

I think I sense a shrimp.

Crazy, Drop, Eclair

“Bob! Drop that eclair! Are you crazy?”

Two dim light sources glowed in the kitchen: one was the digital clock on the coffee pot showing 3:05am, and the other was the refrigerator light. Grace, Bob’s wife, watched as the pastry reversed course and moved away from her diabetic husband’s mouth and back into the refrigerator.

She’d suspected that making baked goods for her children’s school event was risky, that he’d try to sneak a surreptitious snack. She was disappointed in herself for making them, for tempting him. She’d never do it again.

“C’mon Bob. Let’s go back to bed.”

Money, Pink, Vast

There are people who love to collect things. You may have heard of someone collecting war figurines, comic books, or movie memorabilia. But there is someone who collects things that are pink.

Their vast collection is housed in what the neighbours call the Pink Palace. It stands alone, a single massive house, at the end of a lonely street. But when you round the last corner of the drive, you know you’ve found it. It’s hideous.

There are actually tour groups who visit it. They actually pay money to get in and look around.

Frankly, I’d pay money to leave!

Junk, Hidden, Isolate

Phoo Fang, captain of the Shanghai junk Fum Fum, knew things were bad and getting worse. She’d hidden her ship behind an island and was sitting in shallow water, but it was only a matter of time before they found her. The group of ships she’d been sailing with had fled when the pirates had struck and were more than likely gone, leaving her isolated. And worse, her crew were murmuring about joining the pirates and giving up the ship. Phoo had kept the crew in line so far, but it wouldn’t last.

She watched the sun, waiting for dark. 

Truncate, Apply, Ballyhoo

Pete, of Pete’s Peppermint Perfections, had bought, with much ballyhoo, a new digital signboard. He wanted to post up flashing messages that would attract parents willing to spend money into the shop. With Halloween approaching, he typed in a new message. He didn’t apply due care, however, to make sure the entire message was shown and not truncated.

Visitors to Pete’s shop saw, in bright flashing letters, “I eat my kids”. After flashing five times, the other part of the sentence would flash “‘candy”.

Pete made the front page of the local newspaper, but not for the reason he wanted.

Four, For, Fore

“Wanna hear somethin’ far out? If you take a four and a four and a four, three fours, and you add them up, you get twelve, right? And then you add the one and the two in twelve together and you get… three. I mean like mind blown man!”

“…”

“Say somethin’ dad. I wanna make sure your cerebral cortex is still operatin’.”

“You called me at 3am for this?”

“I would’ve told ya at your golf game with your business buddies, ya know, with all you guys yellin’ “fore” all the time, but this couldn’t wait.”

“Thank you. Good night.”

Freckles, Gurgle, Lofty

He sat in his usual armchair at the club, reading the paper in the dim light that managed to squeak through the curtained window. His skin was like the paper within the row upon row of books that rose to the lofty ceiling. Thick carpeting drowned out every sound. A staff member stood unobtrusively close by, ready to serve him at the merest gesture.

In the basement kitchen, hearth fires burned and babies gurgled with delight. Vivacious girls, faces covered in freckles, played with the tots and sang songs while cooks prepared supper for club members. Their faces shone gaily.

Unique, Partition, Control

I wonder if I’m in the control or the experimental group.

My psychology class of 200 students met in the gymnasium an hour ago for a class. We milled around and mingled, with the timer on the scoreboard counting down from five minutes to zero. At zero, a voice ordered us to stay where we were standing, look up, and note the colour of the tarp we were under (mine was orange).

My group was directed to drink a clear liquid from a dixie cup. It’s been ten minutes since I drank it and II’mm nnnoooottttttt fffeeeeeeelllllliinnnnngggggggg iiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttt aaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttt aaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllll.

April, Fool, Day

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. That old adage would have served April well.

She’d been walking the boardwalk when she’d come across a small crowd of people gathered around a handsome smile behind a fold-up table, quickly moving three cards on it. She found herself drawn into the 3-card monty game quickly, and within minutes her spending money was gone, lost on a “sure bet”. Quickly, the table and crowd melted away.

She went to an ATM to withdraw more money - she’d play again some day and win her money back!